I was the first person in my extended middle-class family to finish college and graduate school on full merit scholarships. After finishing high school, I spent 13 years in several universities – studying materials and polymer science, chemical engineering, business administration, finance and marketing – and 16 years in the corporate world or working on government (NASA) grants learning how to design chemical and physical systems. I have also taught college courses in science and business. I was one of those behind-the-scenes scientists/engineers who formulate materials used in your shampoo and toothpaste, bread bags, coffee packages, children toys, as well as medical, automotive and aerospace applications. Like many other subject matter experts, I knew a lot about my areas (materials and business) but almost nothing about the broken feedback loops in my brain and body that kept me imbalanced. I worked hard, made money and spent it to buy happiness. I thought I was running a tight ship. But my ship was tipping, actually sinking, all the while I was adding more fuel (money) and running full throttle to pass other tipping ships towards who knows where. I was productive but numb, a state neuroscientists and psychologists call perseverative, which means “Busy repeating certain habits but ignoring feedback loops.” I was sliding down an unhealthy spiral, like that proverbial frog in a boiling pot, Until ….
My pressing of the pause button did not happen because I read Frost’s The Road Not Taken or Thoreau’s Walden. My journey started when I was invited, some 20 years ago, as a guest by a corporate client to a corporate rest and relaxation (R&R) retreat at Twin Palms, once Frank Sinatra’s lavish exclusive hospitality resort in Palm Springs, California. The charming complex was then owned privately by one of my corporate clients. I was incidentally housed in the famed cozy bungalow where John F Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe allegedly spent the night. I also dined at the hangout for the Rat pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Joey Bishop, and Peter Lawford). I could not help but feel hubris and pride. My hard work, competitive drive and education had finally paid off. I was now rubbing elbows and playing golf with top corporate executives, designing and marketing products for major industries, and managing to increase my income by about 30% a year, not an easy feat in the overly competitive setting of corporate America. I felt like singing aloud Sinatra’s “I did it my way!”
Yet, deep inside, I knew, like Sinatra purportedly knew about his life, that my polished successful image was a mask and my busy life and profitable career a crutch to distract myself from an otherwise anxious life at home: a marriage falling apart, a body mass index of 28, headaches, allergies, short temper, you name it. And I was not alone. Most of my colleagues – corporate managers and directors – also lived agonizing traumatized lives: broken marriages, estranged, troubled or ill children or spouses, alcohol and pharmaceutical dependence, diseases, hospital bills, loneliness, etc. If the road to financial success was a highway, it would have been shut down long ago for its casualties and risks. During the tour of Sinatra’s master bedroom, which was equipped with bulletproof windows, I was surprised to explore a hidden emergency underground escape route …
In the book I share the shocking facts I learned in Sinatra’s house about his anxious traumatized life, and how his life, in many ways, paralleled that of mine. I spent two years to draw from the latest discoveries in a wide range of disciplines — Neuroscience, evolution, biochemistry, psychology, economics, physics, philosophy, nutrition, and even mysticism — to understand the roots of fatigue and imbalance that plague human lives, rich and poor alike. The book is an essential simplified scientific “user manual” for our brain and body and how they communicate (feedback Loops), balance (for health), or burn out (for disease). I believe I have identified the common denominator of disease, disorder, disparity and discord (fights, divorces, lawsuits, riots, wars) that plague our lives.
True education is an orphan today because it’s not profitable. I spend hours to separate good science from bad, noise from signal. Please sign up to support this reader-supported publication, a wiser alternative to corporate-sponsored publications.
I truly value feedback by independent thinkers like you. Please leave your feedback (after you read the book) as a comment to this blog. If positive, add it to Amazon and Goodreads :) I believe independent-minded souls brave enough to question the wisdom of unfettered quantitative growth will be harbingers of balance for our species and our ecosystem. You, the independent-minded reader, will be honoring me by trusting your time to my book.
Independent feedback and insight are gifts. Without sharing them with others, we cannot extend our network of critical thinkers.
